From the Book of Renovations: And lo, there will come a time of Great Home Improvement and truly, it will be a time of Wailing… The post Forty-seven signs of the Apocalypse (#47) appeared first on mark a. rayner.
Continue readingTag: Skwibby fiction
mark a rayner: The Monkey’s Tail, as Told by Marcel Duchamp the Day After Charles Lindbergh Landed at Le Bourget Field
I had this friend who was obsessed with having a monkey tail grafted to his ass. Actually, to call him a friend is stretching the… Continue ReadingThe Monkey’s Tail, as Told by Marcel Duchamp the Day After Charles Lindbergh Landed at Le Bourget Field The post The Monkey’s Tail, as
Continue readingmark a rayner: Clown Apocalypse – the first flash fiction
Years later, the survivors discovered the Bozo Virus got its start at Escola de Clown de Girona, near the end of semester. The “Esclowna” was… Continue ReadingClown Apocalypse – the first flash fiction
Continue readingmark a rayner: The void loves you
The caption is perfect if you imagine it being narrated by Werner Herzog. Herzog continues to read: “The orange sky, like the creeping shadows that threaten to engulf our fictional protagonists, is a visual clue that this never happened beyond the void of imagination.” If this cause a full-on existential
Continue readingmark a rayner: The Procedure
Grounding the team had been difficult, but not impossible. Dr. Hansrik assured them there would be no danger, once the patient was unconscious. Prior to sedation, the patient was capable of anything. (Just ask the good folk of Peoria, Illinois, who&#…
Continue readingmark a rayner: Twitterpocalypse
Writer’s note: Most of the Twitter handles are invented. And if the reverse chronology is a problem, you may prefer to start this short story at the beginning, but I recommend starting here: LandingPartyONE Displeased we did not demolish Twitter …
Continue readingmark a rayner: Congo: a chimp, an artist, a cautionary tale
Congo began his artistic career when he worked with Desmond Morris, anthropologist, TV presenter and writer of such books as The Human Animal, The Naked Ape, and Chimps-r-Us. Initially, Morris gave Congo the paints just to mess with the poor ape’…
Continue readingmark a rayner: William Shatner’s Inaugural Address
(After Winning the First Post-Two-Party Presidential Election) Friends, Americans, Countrymen! Lend me your ears. I come to bury our two-party system, not praise it. I stand before you today, not as a conqueror, not as pop icon, but as your President. …
Continue readingmark a rayner: The Transmutation of Gary
Early on in the Transmutation of Gary, there was a problem. Gary didn’t enjoy the idea of being transmuted, though he was open to the idea of transubstantiation. (A non-starter, obviously.) We settled on transmogrification, which didn’t ups…
Continue readingmark a rayner: Excruciating Album Cover Art – Ignatz Topolino
I include this cover, not because it is awful, but because the story behind this collection of classic jazz nose-harmonica stylings remind me of such an excruciatingly sad story. In the annals of nose harmonica players, Ignatz Topolino is usually the f…
Continue readingmark a rayner: Vanity Thy Name is Robot
By mid-century, all the grumpkins agreed: robots were the shit. Even the most hardened humano-mechanicals were aware their robotic cousins could kick their asses. And the feed stock? Don’t be ridiculous. They were so squishy. So temporary. The on…
Continue readingmark a rayner: Camusic of the Spheres
The dreams had returned, again, and no amount of coffee and cigarettes could keep their influence at bay. The ennui was crushing at times, and even talking with an outrageous French accent would not help. He thought of his days in the theatre. Oh, the …
Continue readingmark a rayner: Dr. Tundra Perfects the Whatsit Upgrade
Whatsit 2.0 had been so popular that Dr. Tundra did not waste any time getting started on 3.0. It would be ready by the next quarter. And then there was the new Danglybit PX he was working on. If he could capture the men’s market and the women’s market at
Continue readingmark a rayner: After the Clown Apocalypse
Like all pandemics, the Bozo Virus ran its course. For those of us who were immune, we had to watch society go mad with clowning. Some saw the horrors of chainsaw juggling. Others experienced the exquisite madness of of buffoonibalism. We were there to witness the collapse of a global economy, the
Continue readingmark a rayner: Doug the neurotic invents a corollary on his daily commute
Okay, I’ll admit it. I’m freaking out. I ate at Wendy’s last night, and then I’m reading the paper today — yeah, like I do everyday on the bus — and so I’m reading the paper, and what do I see? Bird Flu! There was another breakout of bird flu
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Why do lit-ah-rary types look down on SF
So what is it about science fiction that causes “literary” types to look down upon it? Like any genre, SF has its bad and good. No scratch that, like any writing, there is both bad and good. I’ve read plenty … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Apocalypse Cow
Never get out of the boat. Absolutely goddamn right. Unless you were going all the way. Kurtz got off the boat. He split from the whole fuckin’ program. And me? I was off the boat the same time as Kurtz. … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Leonides and the papier-mâché spatula
Gregorina awoke that morning feeling stranger than usual. She’d had vivid dreams of ravaging Leonides, their local butcher, with his own meat tenderizer. In the dream – or perhaps it would do her good to think of it as a … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Protected: Disquieting Postcards I’ve Recently Received from My Future Self
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Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Food for thought
Work has kept me away from my latest long fiction project for a while, and this quote keeps floating around my head. (That, and some kind of growling sound…) Alltop only growls when it’s happy. That cool background photo is … Continue reading →
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