Shorter Brad Wall:
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Accidental Deliberations: The oppressive market
Shorter Cons: Talking about not buying goods is officially a punishable offence.
Continue readingAccidental Deliberations: On relative popularity
Jim Prentice is warning Albertans that they should vote for him lest they be governed by somebody like Tom Mulcair. Jim Prentice’s approval rating in Alberta is 22%. Tom Mulcair’s approval rating in Alberta is 42%. Which means, shorter Jim Prentice: You may think you’re getting an exquisitely prepared filet
Continue readingAccidental Deliberations: On guesswork
Shorter Bob Rae: Some people actually believe voters deserve a meaningful idea what political parties plan to do before choosing between them? That’s crazy talk.
Continue readingAccidental Deliberations: The petulant son
Shorter Justin Trudeau: When I say I plan to do politics differently, what I mean is that I’m willing to leave Stephen Harper in power based on the most petty and frivolous excuses anybody’s ever heard. No longer is there any pretense that a flat “no” to a coalition with
Continue readingAccidental Deliberations: On projection
Shorter Leona Aglukkaq to Canada’s provinces: I’m very disappointed in all of you for my government’s longstanding failings, and demand that you take responsibility immediately.
Continue readingAccidental Deliberations: On foundational assumptions
Shorter John Geddes: Conservatism cannot fail, it can only be failed. And so the miserable results of Stephen Harper’s consistent privatization, free trade obsession and corporate tax slashing don’t count as a conservative record.
Continue readingAccidental Deliberations: On exclusivity
Shorter Harper Cons: We’ll consider allowing democratic oversight of CSIS just as soon as that know-nothing public stops electing MPs who aren’t us.
Continue readingAccidental Deliberations: On clear oversight
Shorter Chuck Strahl: I can’t see why a secret police service should be overseen by anybody other than the MPs who are willing to break their own rules to inflict it on the public in the first place.
Continue readingAccidental Deliberations: On unclear motivations
Shorter Peter MacKay: We should tremble in our boots at the possibility that the people plotting a mass shooting in Halifax might have been susceptible to motivation by religious fervour. But if they’d instead carried out their actual plan, we should be willing to write off the resulting deaths as
Continue readingAccidental Deliberations: On needless concessions
Shorter Dougald Lamont: The only way to win against Stephen Harper’s Conservatives is to let the Conservatives define both the significance of Stephen Harper, and what it means to “win”.
Continue readingAccidental Deliberations: On misappropriation
Shorter Don McMorris: You might think that a publicly administered and funded consultation process would be intended to inform provincial public policy decisions, and that partisan platform development should be funded by a political party instead. But let me assure you that Brad Wall’s government has no such scruples.
Continue readingAccidental Deliberations: On destructive preconditions
Shorter Elizabeth Nickson: I’ll consider accepting the need for policies to preserve the environment just as soon as we’ve seen exactly how much gets destroyed in their absence. (h/t to PressProgress.)
Continue readingAccidental Deliberations: On blissful ignorance
Shorter Lawrence Herman: Just because Newfoundland and Labrador learned the hard way that Stephen Harper can’t be trusted doesn’t mean it has any right to warn anybody else that Stephen Harper can’t be trusted. (For a more reasonable take on how we should expect countries to react to the Cons’
Continue readingAccidental Deliberations: On managerial lapses
Shorter Tony Clement: I believe there’s an art to managing public money. And that’s why I see no problem whatsoever with budgets which are works of fiction.
Continue readingAccidental Deliberations: On unjust cause
Shorter Peter Kent, Stephen Harper Talking Point Dispenser Level Infinity: The Dear Leader fired me for making some effort to do a job with the work “environment” in the title, rather than merely going through the motions. And through much re-education, I’ve come to see that he was right to
Continue readingAccidental Deliberations: Excuses, excuses
Shorter Leona Aglukkaq: It’s absolutely essential that we align our greenhouse gas emissions policies with the U.S. if that means delaying regulations which could limit pollution from the tar sands. Also, it’s absolutely essential that we refuse to align our greenhouse gas emission policies with the U.S. if they’re committing
Continue readingAccidental Deliberations: On inconsistent statements
Shorter Leona Aglukkaq: It’s libellous to suggest that I privately demanded that Sam Tutanuak apologize for exposing the fact that my constituents are going hungry. But while I have your attention, I may as well take the opportunity to publicly demand that Sam Tutanuak apologize for exposing the fact that
Continue readingAccidental Deliberations: On targets
Shorter Chantal Hebert: And just think how much more successful Jack Layton could have been as the NDP’s leader if only the Cons had spent years attacking him rather than Stephane Dion and Michael Ignatieff! Of course, it’s true enough that Canada’s political scene has changed – and indeed for
Continue readingAccidental Deliberations: Slavery is freedom
Shorter Brianna Heinrichs: Oh sure, you soft-hearted progressives think you’re helping workers with your “employment standards” and your “occupational health and safety”. But have you ever considered some people might prefer to have serfdom as an option?
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