In case you’re wondering, I’ve started a new Tumblog called Sad Spaceman, and I am stealing things from it. You may get some textual funny later this week. Alltop wouldn’t know textual funny if it was hit in the face with the Oxfjord Dictionary of English Humor.
Continue readingTag: Parody & Satire
The Skwib: Sad Spaceman gets philosophical
Alltop is worried about having its files decompressed.
Continue readingThe Skwib: Rejected names for the London Rippers
Sometimes it’s a bit embarrassing, living here in London, Ontario. In the last week, we’ve got the dubious honor of being the first city to forcibly remove the tents of the Occupy protests here in town. (There’s been relatively little outcry.) And now, we’ve got a new baseball team causing
Continue readingThe Skwib: Survivor Jerusalem: Crucifixion Island
There are only nine challengers left. Jeff Probst introduces the day’s challenge: “For today’s reward challenge, I’m going to tell you what you’re competing for first. We’ve divided you into three teams. The winning team will get a sit-down meal at Shecky Joe’s Rib Emporium — ” [groan from two thirds of the contestants] “And […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Zach Galifianakis interview Charlize Theron
Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Charlize Theron from Between Two Ferns
Alltop has sweaty thighs too.
Continue readingThe Skwib: Zach Galifianakis interviews Bruce Willis
The 80s: the underrated decade.
Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Bruce Willis from Bruce Willis
Alltop preferred the 70s.
Continue readingThe Skwib: The stinky choices available in New Egonia
You may also find some self-absorbed individuals at alltop. Originally published in November, 2008, when that picture of me was still very old.
Continue readingThe Skwib: The six essentials every writer must have
According to the semi-famous writer, fake expert and shiller of Mac products, John Hodgman — not to be confused with John Hodgeman, inventor of alligator pants — there are six essentials that “every writer must have at his command.” empathy the willingness to endure solitude the belief the world cares about what you have to […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Indelicate lists: synonyms for “virgin”
Conventional celibate chaste innocent pure vestal virtuous Negative definition inhibited nonsexual repressed unsexed unused unworked Positive phrases differently climaxed eros free fully flowered penetration exempt sex free New constructions absexual buxoff celibaste fuxless virgon. Alltop is differently aggregated. Inspired by Comedy Bang Bang, episode 128, after the discussion of there being a need for other […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Blogger dies of exposure
LONDON, ON (The Skwib) — Yesterday the writer of the popular blog, Prawned! was found draped across his keyboard, unconscious. Patrick Jones, aka Dedred S., was pronounced dead at the scene by the medical examiner. Jones was known as an insightful and amusing commentator on the gaming and shrimping industries, and appeared as a regular […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Where Have All the Readers Gone?
I spend a lot of time thinking about the death of print, the digital revolution and the massive changes we’re in the midst of, but sometimes it pays to remember that media shifts have happened before. So, I’ve taken a page out of Mad Kane’s book, and tried my hand at a song parody. You […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Too much Matrix
Photo by Rodney Smith, via kraftgenie on Flickr.
Jones had seen The Matrix at least a dozen times, and one day, it just seemed to describe reality better than the demented ramblings of Sir Isaac Newton.
Alltop is one of those spider things. But funny.
The Skwib: Arrow Shirts, for the lady’s head fancier
1947—Nice spot to be in -Arrow – by Coby Whitmore, a photo by x-ray delta one on Flickr. Copy: Do you enjoy the luxuriant feel of a decapitated head? Then put yourself in an Arrow shirt; that one-and-only Arrow Collar won’t do you a bit of harm, nor will its Mitoga shaped-to-your-shape fit. Every Arrow […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: This could work
Alltop is a flaming box of funny.
Continue readingThe Skwib: Yes, I’m aware of the irony
I’ve always loved Weird Al, and this piece demonstrates his great sense of humor, grasp of the zeitgeist, and his songwriting chops. Stop Forwarding that Crap To Me My only regret is that he didn’t work in a couple of FB and Twitter references, which are surely the new version of this phenomenon. Weird Al […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: The Cybernetic Thought Projection Hat
from the 2037 Hammacher Schlemmer Glaven catalog This hat recalls the iconic headgear worn by the Cognition Brigade during the Second Robotic War. First developed for long distance thought projection, hats of this design were worn by countless Though Soldiers during the war, preferred for its ability to combat the medulla-inhibiting freeze rays of the […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: The Frozen Soylent Green Soft Serve Processor
from the 2037 Hammacher Schlemmer Glaven catalog This is the device that instantly turns Soylent Green and other flavorings into a soft-serve treat. The unit combines frozen Soylent Green and any additional Soylent products you can scavenge and instantly churns the ingredients to produce a treat with the texture of frozen yogurt or soft-serve ice […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: The Thomas Kincaid Pop-Up Christmas Tree and Consumer Happiness Dispenser
(from the 2037 Hammacher Schlemmer Glaven catalog) This is a six-foot Christmas tree that pops up instantly and is pre-decorated with original artwork by renowned holiday artist Thomas Kinkaid, all of which can dispense Viritron’s patented Santa Virus. The tree rises from a flat position in concentric circles to its full thirty-inch width and seventy-six-inch […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: The Laser Equipped Autonomous Robotic Vacuum
(from the 2037 Hammacher Schlemmer Glaven catalog) This is the robotic vacuum that navigates autonomously through your home up to seven times per week, where it can either clean your floors or patrol for intruders. The unit’s specially designed dual, counter-rotating agitator brushes spread carpet fibers and enable the vacuum to remove hair and other […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: The Best Levitation Belt
from the 2037 Hammacher Schlemmer Glaven catalog This levitation belt earned The Best rating from the Hammacher Schlemmer Glaven Institute because it was the easiest to put on and operate while falling from a building. 48 out of 49 of our tests were successful, and only one of our Testing Drones was killed during the […]
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