Having recently watched Trainspotting, I was struck by how funny (and then disgusting) the “worst toilet in Scotland” scene was. So, that toilet wins for nasty. I think we have to give the prize for frightening to this toilet hanging over a precipice in the Swiss Alps. Imagine having to sit in this port-loo during […]
Continue readingTag: Monkeys!
The Skwib: Blogger dies of exposure
LONDON, ON (The Skwib) — Yesterday the writer of the popular blog, Prawned! was found draped across his keyboard, unconscious. Patrick Jones, aka Dedred S., was pronounced dead at the scene by the medical examiner. Jones was known as an insightful and amusing commentator on the gaming and shrimping industries, and appeared as a regular […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Spike Milligan makes fun of Hitler & Prince Charles
Of course, you could always check out his memoir too, Adolf Hitler, My Part in His Downfall.
Alltop is willing to grovel for your laughs.
Continue readingThe Skwib: How to open a door (and be awesome)
This is a Finnish instructional video from 1979. Click on the red CC if you want the subtitles. Oh my god, don’t leaving me hanging like that rocking 70s mustache man! How the hell do I look awesome if the door opens towards me? Now, is it me, or is the rocking 70s mustache man […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Hidden quirky smile
Hidden quirky smile, a photo by marchasselbalch on Flickr. Two notes: An excellent week of stuff upcoming on The Skwib this week. Dear NASA: For future reference, if you drop your crap in my backyard, I’m not telling you. Especially if it sets anything on fire. Finders keepers. The Kindle Giveaway continues. Join my mailing […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Ask General Kang: Is it a correction? Please tell me it’s a correction! Should I sell?
Yep, there’s nothing trickier to manipulate than a system based on fear and greed. You humans should consider changing your approach to markets. Back on my home planet, I changed our stock market system to take most of the greed out of it, and increased the amount of fear. How, you ask? Simple. On a […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: The five second rule
It was the best game of zenball ever, and the crowd was wild with excitement: the whisper of butterfly wings was deafening. The Rotrovra Koan Kangaroos had just scored their first all-in kensho, and the Targenville Half-Lotus Lions replied with a double-satori. The Roos launched a full-out dharma walk, but they were unable to penetrate […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Hitler Sings!
Fifty-one seconds of pure Spike Milligan joy!
Alltop has humor too.
The Skwib: Some days you’re the monkey, some days the shark
Alltop is the grungy starburst. Image via Brexians.
Continue readingThe Skwib: The Levels of Drinking Consciousness: A Unified Theory
Yesterday we looked at Larry Miller’s routine, “the five levels of drinking”, which while entertaining, does not look the levels systematically. He also really only discusses the first three levels in detail. My friends and I have developed a more systematic description of alcohol’s effect on human consciousness quite tirelessly over the years, beginning sometime […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Larry Miller’s Five Levels of Drinking
I love this routine by Larry Miller; it’s great storytelling, and it reminds me of my idiot friends. We went so far as to name all of these levels, including some names for specific drinks within the five levels. (In fact, it is the basis for the structure of my second novel, Marvellous Hairy.) Tomorrow […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Ask General Kang: Miss Manners says it has to be 97 degrees out before I don’t have to wear nylons. What do you think?
I think you should tell me what that is in Celsius. 35? 36? Never mind, it doesn’t matter, because that Miss Manners is a complete bitch. How DARE she tell you what to do? I’m only offering helpful advice, but she has decrees. Well, I think you should wear whatever you want. It’s still a […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Baby existentialism
This explains so much.
Alltop was more of a baby solipsist.
The Skwib: A humourous vintage photograph
After this photo was taken an alien zygote burst from this child’s chest at a tremendous velocity, blasting through the watermelon slice a moment later, and then running down the street; the photographer experienced years of insomnia, heaving dr…
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