I have never owned one of your quaint “internal combustion engine” vehicles, so I have not had to worry about the high price of gas, but I have been getting nailed on the cost of most foods appropriate for the … Continue reading →
Continue readingTag: Monkeys!
The Ranting Canadian: I couldn’t resist posting this. According to the…
I couldn’t resist posting this. According to the CBC: “A monkey wearing a miniature shearling coat and diapers was collected by animal services on Sunday afternoon, after shoppers spotted the animal in the parking lot of a Toronto Ikea store.” http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/story/2012/12/09/toronto-monkey-ikea.html
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Ask General Kang: How do you choose a new leader?
Well, on my home planet of Neecknaw, this is a simple affair. The new leader chooses himself. Or herself. But we haven’t had a female leader since the Gloomy Ages (the interstitial period between the Dark Ages and the Time … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Byron’s Epic Swims: The Alps
To this day, no one has been able to recreate the feat of naiant heroics that Byron managed in the dark fall of 1816. Having finished buggering Percy Bysshe Shelley senseless, Bryon decided to spend the winter in Venice. He … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Clown Apocalypse: The European Atrocity
It became clear after the initial chaos, that some people had a natural immunity to the Bozo Virus. The vast majority of humans were affected, but some seemed unaffected by the clownish behaviors and grotesque physical changes caused by the … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Would you rather be punched in the face than join Klout?
I completely sympathize with this perspective, but I would ask you NOT to punch me in the face. Despite my better judgement I joined. Look at Klout this way: it’s something else to feel inferior about! (Cause life doesn’t really … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: What is that all over his economy? Ants!
I’d like to see what Aesop would make of derivatives. Alltop enjoys a good fable.
Continue readingThose Emergency Blues: “How Did I Ever Live So Long Without a Monkey?”
Not what you think. Trust me. You may even have a tear or two. More information can be found here. Filed under: Advertising Hitting The Mark, Random Thoughts Tagged: monkeys, MS, multiple sclerosis, service animals
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: When your imaginary friend is a jerk
Why do our brains do this? Or is it just me and The Oatmeal? Alltop has tons of imaginary friends,and they’re all super!
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Hitler Sings! And the First Irish Moon-shot
More from Spike Milligan. And if that wasn’t enough, Spike can make fun of his homeland too. (Though I think he’s actually making fun of the stereotypes.) Alltop doesn’t like the sound of these boncentration bamps.
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: The Goon Show: Tales of Men’s Shirts
Before Monty Python, there was The Goon Show. I love the way that when Spike Milligan does anything, he breaks the rest of the Goons up. This is their penultimate radio performance, which also happened to be televised, and is, … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: How green are Arthur C. Clarke’s predictions?
I’m always amazed when I see clips of Clarke predicting how technology will change our lives. The clip above is from 1973. In retrospect, he gets so much right, yet some parts are way off; here’s another, from 1964. I … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Humor: an evolutionary explanation
Humans have evolved to have a sense of humor — sorry, most humans have evolved to have a sense of humor because it helps us deal with: the vast indifference of the universe the crushing knowledge of our own mortality … Continue reading →
Continue readingThe Skwib: This is a scream
He survived a tour of duty in Afghanistan. He’s tough. He’s a marine. But Adam was not prepared for the lying ways of the carnies operating the Giant Slingshot. Alltop screams like a little girl too! Video via Reddit
Continue readingThe Skwib: The Night Santa Went Crazy
This fan-made video is a brilliant adaptation of Weird Al’s “The Night Santa Went Crazy”. Click here to view the embedded video. You may also find some crazy at alltop.com.
Continue readingThe Skwib: Why Those 25 Things About You Aren’t “Random”
This is one that has been festering for some time, so please forgive the Phrase Freak if he goes “off the Bale” a bit. Like many changes to the English language, the meaning of this word has become twisted. Once, it defined something that was done without a method or
Continue readingThe Skwib: Ask General Kang: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving on your home world?
No, we have several holidays that are somewhat similar, but essentially we break your celebration into two components. And then we have one “thanksgiving” day which is totally alien to your world. In the late months of the harvest time on Planet Neecknaw, we have a holiday that is probably
Continue readingThe Skwib: Rejected names for the London Rippers
Sometimes it’s a bit embarrassing, living here in London, Ontario. In the last week, we’ve got the dubious honor of being the first city to forcibly remove the tents of the Occupy protests here in town. (There’s been relatively little outcry.) And now, we’ve got a new baseball team causing
Continue readingThe Skwib: Ask General Kang: Do you enjoy daylight savings time?
Yes, of course. There’s nothing I enjoy more than having to reset my body’s circadian rhythms because of your human delusion that you control things. Most of you can barely operate your own crude technologies properly (put up your hands if you know how to stop your PC from launching Outlook), so I love the […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Ask General Kang: If a blogger blogs in the forest, and nobody is around to read it, does it exist?
I think what you’re really asking is can something exist without being perceived. Of course, in this instance, you’re forgetting that the person writing the blog — the blogger — will perceive the blog, so of course it exists. This raises another question, though. If this fictional blogger — let’s call him Mankor the Metaphysical […]
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