I am a woman. This probably won’t shock you. I am a woman, I am a feminist, I am a mother, I am a lover…I am many things. But I want to tell you about something I am not. I am not afraid. Oh sure, I have fear. I worry
Continue readingTag: Just Wrong
centre of the universe: Why a Communications Strategy is imperative
Man, that sounds boring. Bear with me, okay? Whether you are running a business, employed as a writer or PR or communications staff, or whether you’re running or managing a minor sports team, a dance troupe, or a non-profit, you need a communications strategy. This might be as simple as
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Cherie from the vanity press called today
I received correspondence today from the vanity press that keeps contacting me. You remember this from such escapades as Nathan’s going to publish my manifesto and Suggestions for Nathan regarding my manifesto and A Mouthful of Marbles and Nathan’s gone missing. A woman called “Cherie [REDACTED] a Publishing Consultant from [REDACTED]” contacted
Continue readingcentre of the universe: NATHAN, WHERE ARE YOU?
In January, I was contacted by Ex Libris, a vanity press that uses extremely aggressive marketing techniques to bilk writers out of their hard-earned income. I have asked repeatedly to be taken off of their contact lists, to no avial. When they contacted me in January 2014, I began a
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Dear Nathan – IMPORTANT INFORMATION
I got a phone message from Nathan! (The ‘consultant’ Ex Libris has assigned to my book.) It was the same voice mail that he’s left the past three or four times he’s called. He’s very persistent. Unfortunately for Nathan, I don’t answer telephone calls for which I do not recognize
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Dear Nathan – Editors
Dear Nathan, I was thinking about who you should get to edit my manifesto. I mean manuscript. My eleventh grade English teacher came to mind, but after she was accused of gross vandalism, criminal harassment, stalking, and destruction of property … Continue reading →
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Dear Nathan
A few years ago, I decided to engage in some corporate espionage. I work in the field of book publishing, and I had been hearing rather a lot about vanity presses like Ex Libris. Normally, I don’t like naming the … Continue reading →
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Medical Records Rant: Update
So, as I know you are sitting on the edge of your seat wondering “what has cenobyte done? What’s going on with her medical records?”, I thought I’d update you. Not too long ago, my doctor changed clinics. Apparently, when he left the clinic in which his practice was located,
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Beware: Rant
Will someone please explain to me a couple of things? Make sure you use easy-to-understand Venn diagrams and small little words because it’s sure feeling like I’m getting the “you’re too stupid to understand so I’m just going to say the same thing over and over, only louder” treatment. 1)
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Mr. Grinch
There is an unwritten, often unmentioned social contract that takes place when you do what you think is something selfless. We like to think that we are altruistic. That is, unselfish; showing concern for others. And by and large, I think we are. We can always do more, of course.
Continue readingcentre of the universe: She’s my cherry pie
Here’s a problem. Some people seem to think that sexual or romantic attention is a *gift*. They seem to think that all we do is sit around waiting for someone to tell us that we’re pretty or sexy or that we want to know what they would like to do
Continue readingcentre of the universe: They’re coming to take me away
Okay. Let’s see if I can do this. Two days before the American gun control bill was introduced for voting, an attack was made by [then] unknown individuals on civilians at the Boston Marathon, arguably one of the biggest, most well-known marathons in North America. For days, in fear, people
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Head Like a Hole
First, I’d like you to go to Netflix and watch a documentary called “Head Games”. It’s about brain damage due to contact sport. It talks about concussions in football, hockey, and boxing. And entertainment wrestling (not greco-roman wrestling). It’s an incredibly interesting and well-done documentary. One of the really good
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Without You
I can’t stop thinking about you. It’s strange, and I don’t believe you’re gone. I never thought of picturing a world without you in it. I don’t want to picture that world now. I wonder if she mourned you or whether your death came as a relief. Whether she stood
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Walk a Mile
A few days ago, I had one of those “eff you, I’m turning off the radio and all y’all are just a bunch of paint-sniffing reticulated jerk muffins” moments. It was about Idle No More. If you’re Canadian and you haven’t heard about this grassroots protest against legislation that may
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Freedom Has Consequences
This article is about a London, Ontario man who posted a cruel comment on the memorial site for Amanda Todd (the 15-year-old Port Coquitlam, BC girl who committed suicide last week) and who was subsequently fired from his job after a … Continue reading →
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Thinly Thought
I wasn’t going to do this. I really wasn’t. But then something happened to a friend of mine and it got my knickers in a knot and I know I’m going to be skimming over vast chunks of the actual … Continue reading →
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Dumb
Okay, I guess I need to preface this post about the recall of infant chairs by reminding you that all parents are psychotic. All of us. First, we decide to host parasites. IN OUR BODIES. Or, if we choose not … Continue reading →
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Part of the Precipitate
It’s not “a savings”. There’s no such thing as “a savings”. “Savings” means more than one. Know why? Because it’s fucking plural. Fucking plural means “more than one”. In fact, just regular plural means “more than one” whether or not … Continue reading →
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Antisocial Media
Putting stuff out into the EEEEeeeEEEeeEEeether is not social. It’s narcissistic and self-serving. It’s ego-stroking. And I am the worst for this. (For reference, see “centre of the universe: the dreaming”. AKA: this bournal.) It is altogether too easy to … Continue reading →
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