Seeking to dispel accusations of pathological flip-flopping, “Mitt” Romney unveiled plans to use a time machine to kill earlier versions of himself who believed in universal health care and gay rights. Now that he’s the presumptive Republican nominee, I guess “Mitt” will also have to exterminate earlier iterations of himself
Continue readingTag: GOP Primaries
Red Tory v.3.0.3: Game Over for Santorum
At Gettysburg, PA (of all places!) Rick Santorum announced today that he’s throwing in the towel on his bid to become the Theocrat in Chief of the United States. No surprise really, considering that in all probability he would otherwise have lost the primary later this month in his home
Continue readingTrashy's World: So Santorum wins…
… two Bible-belt states… and some folks are surprised? Really? On the radio this morning, I hear him say to a crowd after the wins: “The most common thing I have people saying to me is that “I am praying for you”. …and the audience yells “Amen!” Yeah. And there
Continue readingRed Tory v.3.0.3: Newt-a-Mania!
I guess winning the Georgia primary in tonight’s discount version of “Super Tuesday” may help Newt stay puft for a while longer in the race to be the standard bearer of ignorant, batshit-crazy white people across America, but what is up with the poor lad forced to hold a sign
Continue readingRon Paul, Contraceptives & Abortion
Of the four(4) GOP primary candidates still standing, the only one I can even come close to listening to with a serious ear is libertarian Ron Paul. Now before everyone jumps all over the comments section with the “Ron Paul is no friend of progressives!!” stuff, yeah yeah, I get
Continue readingRed Tory v.3.0.3: Latest Ron Paul Attack Ad
Here’s the latest negative attack ad from the Ron Paul campaign slagging Rick Santorum for not being a “fiscal conservative”… (Seems to have been done by the same agency that created the tough-talking Ford F-150 truck ads.) I suppose one could quibble about specifics of the dubious allegations made if
Continue readingRed Tory v.3.0.3: The Right Height of Trees
Vocalizing to a small group of carbon-based supporters in Michigan earlier this week, “Mitt Romney” – the android launched many years ago by a venture capital fund to become the first completely non-human Republican nominee for President – pretended to express his/its deep affinities with and positive responses to various
Continue readingRed Tory v.3.0.3: Santorumentum!
Def: The frothy mix of media hype and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of non-binding Republican primary victories. How sad is it that a moronic theocrat like Rick “Man on Dog” Santorum is viewed by a majority of Republican primary voters in the heartland of America as a
Continue readingRed Tory v.3.0.3: Resolute Newt
Rather than staging a pointless concession “rally” after his distant second-place finish in yesterday’s Nevada caucuses, bucking convention, Newt Gringrich opted instead to hold a bizarre 20-minute press conference at his campaign headquarters. Repulsive though he may be in almost every respect, it’s a good thing that Gringrich has vowed
Continue readingRed Tory v.3.0.3: Blood Money
The SuperPAC supporting (but definitely not co-ordinating with!) Newt Gringrich yesterday released another negative “documentary” attacking Mitt Romney. Called “Blood Money” the film links the former head of Bain Capital to Damon Clinical Laboratories, a medical testing company the equity firm controlled during the early 90s that was subsequently found
Continue readingRed Tory v.3.0.3: Damn the Paulbots!
As much as I agree with many of Ron Paul’s principled stances on various issues, I just cannot stand the cult of over-zealous fanatics that support him… Despite all evidence, these folks simply refuse to accept the fact that Dr. Paul will NOT be the Republican nominee for president. To
Continue readingRed Tory v.3.0.3: No Heat, No Light
Contrary to expectations and all the advance hype, it was quite a flat, disappointingly ineffective, and weirdly obtuse Republican “debate” hosted by NBC in Florida tonight. That was probably the most heated exchange of the evening – a pointless quibble over what constitutes “lobbying” on behalf of government sponsored entities…
Continue readingRed Tory v.3.0.3: Only in America!
Quite an appropriate theme song by Toby Keith playing at last night’s victory rally in South Carolina… Truly it can be said that “Only in America” could a pompous, selfishly scheming, ethically-challenged, morally bankrupt hypocrite like Newt Gingrich – who once grandiosely described himself as “the definer of civilization” –
Continue readingRed Tory v.3.0.3: Über Mitt!
Mitt Romney gets asked what time it is and responds with a stilted history of watch-making through the ages… Good grief, I didn’t even know there was yet another Republican “debate” on the TV machine tonight. Guess I’ll have to view it online now to see if John King followed
Continue readingRed Tory v.3.0.3: Down & Dirty
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned… This isn’t the first time that Newt’s embittered second wife has emerged in the media to seek revenge for being cheated on and dumped for another woman, although it will most certainly be the last and most decisively inopportune. Karma is such
Continue readingRed Tory v.3.0.3: God Withdraws Support for Perry
Following a series of hapless debate performances and a campaign trail littered with innumerable (albeit hilarious) gaffes that left him woefully polling in the range of his presumed IQ, Texas Governor Rick Perry decided today to pull the plug on his doomed bid to be the next Leader of the
Continue readingRed Tory v.3.0.3: King of Bain
The complete film by the SuperPAC supporting Newt Gingrich called “When Mitt Romney Came to Town.” It’s quite an artful hatchet job. As expected, the Republican establishment and most of the corporate media is pushing back strenuously against what it chooses to regard as an outrageous attack on Capitalism. Here,
Continue readingRed Tory v.3.0.3: Summing Up the Republicans
Good discussion about the current state of the GOP with respect to the primary race and hypothetical outcomes should a Republican become president, featuring David “Axis of Evil” Frum, New York Magazine writer Jonathan Chait and National Review editor Kevin Williamson. Towards the end of the conversation, Paiken wheels out
Continue readingRed Tory v.3.0.3: Mitt-Sock Wins! (again)
It took all of 10 minutes after the polls closed for Willard “Mitt” Romney to be declared the winner of the New Hampshire primary election. Meanwhile, there will be four hours of “live” coverage on all the cable news networks analyzing the results and pretending there is some significance to
Continue readingRed Tory v.3.0.3: Better Know a Flake
Give it up to the good folks in New Hampshire who last month actually staged a serious 2 hour-long C-SPAN forum for “lesser known candidates” running for President of the United States to broadcast their pitches to hundreds of viewers and answer legitimate questions from the press about government relations,
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