Montreal Simon: The Day The Cons Became the Reform Party Again

When I saw Rona Ambrose at the Con convention giving her farewell speech, praising herself extravagantly  and bragging about how "she could kick Trudeau in the balls," I knew it was going to be a weird night.And that I was right, Ambrose has no class.But who knew the Cons would end up giving themselves, and their ...

Montreal Simon: The Ghastly Beginning of the Con Clown Convention

As I watched the Con leadership candidates deliver their final speeches yesterday evening I was struck by three things:How small the convention room was, how old and white the audience.And how absurd were those speechesThirteen candidates vying to replace Stephen Harper as permanent Conservative leader delivered their final speeches Friday night, pitching their vision for ...

Montreal Simon: The Lamentable Legacy of the Con Clown Rona Ambrose

It's not a very good picture, but I thought I'd keep it anyway, because it's historic. Sort of.A picture of the Con Queen Rona Ambrose announcing that she's retiring from federal politics. Which as you can imagine had the Cons and the pathetic Con media in a tizzy, praising her as the Greatest Prime Minister Canada Never ...

Montreal Simon: Lisa Raitt and the Kamikaze Candidate

The hapless stooges in our corporate media like to describe Lisa Raitt as the most "moderate" candidate in the Con leadership race. The one who is so "nice" she doesn't stand a chance in that collection of racists and religious fanatics. But of course we know better. We know that all things are relative. And ...

Montreal Simon: The Hilarious Hypocrisy of the Con Clown Erin O’Toole

From the moment the Cons and the NDP decided to go after Harjit Sajjan, nobody joined in the gang bang more gleefully than Erin O'Toole.Taunting the decorated Afghanistan veteran over and over again as only a Con could. Only to have that big smile wiped off his pudgy face.Read more »

Montreal Simon: Rona Ambrose, the Budget, and the Scandalous Cons

I almost felt sorry for Rona Ambrose yesterday, as she tried to say something intelligent about the Liberal's new budget. Only to fail miserably.And end up looking, once again, like the village idiot. Claiming that Liberal spending was out of control, and that it was a "nightmare scenario."Read more »

Montreal Simon: Maxime Bernier and the Red Pill Road To Ruin

For most of the Con leadership campaign, Maxime Bernier was the happy warrior or the  happy biker.Roaring down the highway selling extreme libertarianism instead of racism and bigotry like many of the other candidates.But even though that approach has served him well, and propelled him past Kellie Leitch.It seems that the boob from the Beauce is ...

Montreal Simon: Maxime Bernier and the Red Pill Road To Ruin

For most of the Con leadership campaign, Maxime Bernier was the happy warrior or the  happy biker.Roaring down the highway selling extreme libertarianism instead of racism and bigotry like many of the other candidates.But even though that approach has served him well, and propelled him past Kellie Leitch.It seems that the boob from the Beauce is ...

Montreal Simon: Kellie Leitch and the Video From Hell

She is still desperately trying to attract attention, in a crowd of equally mediocre Con leadership candidates.She's still wrapping herself in the colours of the country, to better flog her grotesque "Canadian values" campaign.But with every passing day Kellie Leitch appears to be losing her grip on reality.And I fear she has now gone over the ...

Montreal Simon: Kellie Leitch and the Video From Hell

She is still desperately trying to attract attention, in a crowd of equally mediocre Con leadership candidates.She's still wrapping herself in the colours of the country, to better flog her grotesque "Canadian values" campaign.But with every passing day Kellie Leitch appears to be losing her grip on reality.And I fear she has now gone over the ...

Montreal Simon: The Con Clowns and the Voice In Their Heads

It was such a boring show I had to remember to keep breathing. And needless to say I couldn't watch it for more than a few minutes. No sane person could.Although it seems it did have its farcical moments. For there were thirteen of the fourteen Con clown leadership candidates yesterday, trying to compress The Thoughts ...

Montreal Simon: The Con Clowns and the Voice In Their Heads

It was such a boring show I had to remember to keep breathing. And needless to say I couldn't watch it for more than a few minutes. No sane person could.Although it seems it did have its farcical moments. For there were thirteen of the fourteen Con clown leadership candidates yesterday, trying to compress The Thoughts ...

Montreal Simon: The Con Leadership Race Becomes Even More Bizarre

Tonight the Con leadership candidates, all fourteen of them, will converge on the Roger's Centre in Edmonton for the last debate of their long and dismal campaign. And already things are going horribly wrong. In fact, to borrow a line from the Lion in Winter, if pigs could fly there would be pork in the trees.Because for starters, ...

Montreal Simon: The Con Leadership Race Becomes Even More Bizarre

Tonight the Con leadership candidates, all fourteen of them, will converge on the Roger's Centre in Edmonton for the last debate of their long and dismal campaign. And already things are going horribly wrong. In fact, to borrow a line from the Lion in Winter, if pigs could fly there would be pork in the trees.Because for starters, ...

Montreal Simon: Milo Yiannopoulos and the Rebel Media Groupies

I have always despised Milo Yiannopoulos so much, I can barely write about him without feeling like throwing up.He is an alt-right clown, a grotesque misogynist, a bigot and a bully if ever there was one, a man who calls Donald Trump "Daddy."And from my personal perspective, the gay equivalent of an Uncle Tom.So I must ...

Montreal Simon: Milo Yiannopoulos and the Rebel Media Groupies

I have always despised Milo Yiannopoulos so much, I can barely write about him without feeling like throwing up.He is an alt-right clown, a grotesque misogynist, a bigot and a bully if ever there was one, a man who calls Donald Trump "Daddy."And from my personal perspective, the gay equivalent of an Uncle Tom.So I must ...

Montreal Simon: The Con Leadership Race Descends Into Farce

I didn't watch the latest Con leadership debate in Vancouver yesterday afternoon, for two very good reasons.One, I couldn't find it on any TV channel I get, or anywhere on the dark internet. And two, it was too nice and warm outside to waste even an hour of my life.Which turned out to be a good ...

Montreal Simon: The Con Leadership Race Descends Into Farce

I didn't watch the latest Con leadership debate in Vancouver yesterday afternoon, for two very good reasons.One, I couldn't find it on any TV channel I get, or anywhere on the dark internet. And two, it was too nice and warm outside to waste even an hour of my life.Which turned out to be a good ...

Montreal Simon: The Snobby Cons and the Bus Driver Minister

When I was a very small boy I used to dream of driving a bus, and the bigger the better.But it didn't take me very long to realize that the job wasn't as glamorous as I had imagined. And that I probably would never have the skill or the patience to be a good driver.Which was ...

Montreal Simon: The Sunny Humiliation of Rona Ambrose

For weeks Rona Ambrose has been attacking Justin Trudeau for taking a helicopter ride to the Aga Khan's private island, instead of swimming there.But not any longer.Yesterday in Question Period she was a mute as a carp.And with good reason. Read more »

Montreal Simon: The Con Leadership Circus and the Two Trumpanzees

As you know the Con leadership circus has not one but two second third-rate Donald Trump impersonators.But I'm sorry to report that after this week's ghastly show, both Kevin O'Leary and Kellie Leitch have been demoted.And will now march in with the clowns.Read more »

Montreal Simon: Why I Have Decided To Support Kevin O’Leary

Well now it's official. Kevin O'Leary has finally announced that he does indeed want to be the leader, or the new King of the Harper Party.He claims ordinary rubes Canadians are excited and grateful that he's going to save them from the Liberals.  And he wants Justin Trudeau to know that he is going to be his ...

Montreal Simon: The Farcical Con Debate and the Coming of Kevin O’Leary

The headline in today's Journal de Montréal just about says it all. Yesterday's Con leadership debate was a "hard evening for the French language."So badly did some Con candidates mangle their French, that even the translators couldn't understand them.And no serious person could call it anything but a farce.But at least the gloves finally came off.Read more ...

Montreal Simon: The Final Humiliation of the Con Clown Joe Oliver

It isn't the biggest story in the world, compared to the coming of Trump, or for that matter any other story.But like the ghost of Harper past, the old Con Joe Oliver is back in the news. And sadly for him not in a happy way.For after losing his seat in the last election, now he's ...

Montreal Simon: The Continuing Adventures of the Con Clown Kellie Trump

As we all know too well, and too painfully, the Con clown Kellie Leitch has been making an absolute fool of herself for what sometimes seems like forever.With the worst Donald Trump impersonator third-rate drag show act Canada, and possibly the world, has ever seen.Where Kellie Trump claims that only she can save our Canadian values, ...