Last weekend Dr. Maximillian Tundra was lucky enough to go away for the weekend on a roadtrip with his buddies. It was nearly the last thing he ever did. After stopping for a delightful (if artery-hardening) breakfast buffet at the … Continue reading →
Continue readingTag: but is it art?
mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: It all boils down to your programming
The artificial intelligence(s) in The Fridgularity emphatically do not fall in love. Sex, sure, but love? Alltop is in lust with humor.
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Piracy 101
A tall, strong and heavily muscled man enters the lecture hall; his nut-brown face is marred by a saber cut across one cheek. It has left a dirty, livid white scar that practically glows out of his dark face. He’s … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Help with your New Year’s Resolutions
A bit of advice from Bob Newhart: But you shouldn’t stop going to Alltop.
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: You know, it’s really important to tell the truth
Maybe this is why Billy Joel thinks honesty is such a lonely word… Alltop sits on a throne of lies. And jokes.
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Teaser from The Fridgularity: How the Grinch Stole Christmas
The Fridgularity is a satire of Internet culture, so that means it’s rife with pop-culture references, and How the Grinch Stole Christmas is one of them. I can’t tell you any more, as that would be a spoiler. But I … Continue reading …
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Sadisucation
You sometimes think that certain teachers experience a certain glee because of the essential irrationality of English. Alltop write good. And funny.
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Sad about the singularity?
Is this robot really sad? Or is it just celebrating the technological singularity it its own quiet way? I don’t want to project onto this robot. Maybe he’s programmed to be happy with his single red balloon. Unlike Zathir, the … Continue read…
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Rebranding Thor in the Age of Facebook
The account rep jumped right into it: “we’re thrilled to have your account, but I’m afraid your numbers are down since our initial chat.” “You’re kiddin’ me.” “I’m afraid not, and I don’t wa…
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Everyman Ozymandias
Ozymandias I met a traveller from an antique land Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone Stand in the desart. Near them, on the sand, Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown, And wrinkled lip, and sneer … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Ask General Kang: How do I keep my two-year-old son from killing his mother (my wife)?
First off, you probably need to untie her and let her run away from the frisky little tyke. Oh and stop giving him knives to play with. By the way, you know you’re ripping off “Stewie” from The Family Guy? … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: The book of transformation
He had no idea how long he’d been there. It seemed like an age. All around him was the sound of the other body parts. Two pages over the heart wouldn’t shut up. Thump-whoosh, thump-whoosh, it pumped its non-existent blood, … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Take me to your breeder
Klaktron XII was the Hyper-Commander of the United Federation of Incredibly Regular Planets Space Vessel, Cheeznip. His was a storied career. He’d eaten ultrasonic oysters in the Seafood Nebula, and lived to tell the tale (in five-part harmony). He’d fought … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Cheese Pyrates! Revenge of the Crimson Parrots
It were 2011, and a year had passed since the Le Fromage de Satan had sunk our frigate with an exploding cheese, killing all hands except for meself, Jim Quinn, and the chef’s assistant, Paul Le Whisk. Arrr! Le Whisk … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Cheese Pyrates!
The year were 2011 and I joined the Navy for one reason alone — to get me vengeance on Le Fromage de Satan, and her scurvy master, Captain Jacques LaBung. LaBung and his crew of plugged-up sea-dogs were known all … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Fitted Sheets — Perfectly Cromulent Folding Instructions
Perfectly crumulent indeed. Alltop has trouble with t-shirts too.
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Aging Nostalgia
This chart imparts two important points to me: I am older than the average American I had no idea the movie Forrest Gump was so important. The list is marginally less depressing than a game a co-worker of mine used … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Clown Apocalypse: Buffoonibilism
This isn’t terrifying is it? He looks kinda fun, right? Sure, up until the point he starts to eat your face. One of the mutations of the Bozo Virus that was most horrifying was the one that caused Buffoonabilism, a … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Hand drawn grids
When I’m not posting nonsense here, and writing novels that you can (ahem), buy here, I teach at the Faculty of Information and Media Studies, at Western. A lot of what I teach is web stuff, and this involves me … Continue reading →
Continue readingmark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Famous Paintings with SF Titles: The Grondak Slayer
Up until recently, many believed this was Rembrandt’s masterpiece. According to most experts, it was likely painted by one of Rembrandt’s students, but it is a virtuoso work none-the-less. The thing that art historian have failed to pass along, however, … Continue reading →
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