By Dr. Maximilian Tundra Does anyone else find it mildly disturbing to be addressed as “dear”, “hon,” or “darling” by someone who is at least 10 years younger than you? I have noticed over the past year or so that Tim Horton’s has been hiring more young servers, and they have strangely taken on some […]
Continue readingTag: but is it art?
The Skwib: And how would you like your Marcel Duchamp prepared sir?
Someday, thanks to science and human perversity, we will be able to eat people without suffering the pangs of guilt that we have contributed to someone’s murder. Sure, we’ll have all the frisson of the ultimate taboo to spice up our night out, but we will be able to do so without fear of prosecution, […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: The six essentials every writer must have
According to the semi-famous writer, fake expert and shiller of Mac products, John Hodgman — not to be confused with John Hodgeman, inventor of alligator pants — there are six essentials that “every writer must have at his command.” empathy the willingness to endure solitude the belief the world cares about what you have to […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Indelicate lists: synonyms for “virgin”
Conventional celibate chaste innocent pure vestal virtuous Negative definition inhibited nonsexual repressed unsexed unused unworked Positive phrases differently climaxed eros free fully flowered penetration exempt sex free New constructions absexual buxoff celibaste fuxless virgon. Alltop is differently aggregated. Inspired by Comedy Bang Bang, episode 128, after the discussion of there being a need for other […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: The worst toilet in Switzerland
Having recently watched Trainspotting, I was struck by how funny (and then disgusting) the “worst toilet in Scotland” scene was. So, that toilet wins for nasty. I think we have to give the prize for frightening to this toilet hanging over a precipice in the Swiss Alps. Imagine having to sit in this port-loo during […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Where Have All the Readers Gone?
I spend a lot of time thinking about the death of print, the digital revolution and the massive changes we’re in the midst of, but sometimes it pays to remember that media shifts have happened before. So, I’ve taken a page out of Mad Kane’s book, and tried my hand at a song parody. You […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: SO glad it’s not just me
Alltop is worried it’s suffocating the funny.
Continue readingThe Skwib: Too much Matrix
Photo by Rodney Smith, via kraftgenie on Flickr.
Jones had seen The Matrix at least a dozen times, and one day, it just seemed to describe reality better than the demented ramblings of Sir Isaac Newton.
Alltop is one of those spider things. But funny.
The Skwib: Spike Milligan makes fun of Hitler & Prince Charles
Of course, you could always check out his memoir too, Adolf Hitler, My Part in His Downfall.
Alltop is willing to grovel for your laughs.
Continue readingThe Skwib: How to open a door (and be awesome)
This is a Finnish instructional video from 1979. Click on the red CC if you want the subtitles. Oh my god, don’t leaving me hanging like that rocking 70s mustache man! How the hell do I look awesome if the door opens towards me? Now, is it me, or is the rocking 70s mustache man […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Yes, I’m aware of the irony
I’ve always loved Weird Al, and this piece demonstrates his great sense of humor, grasp of the zeitgeist, and his songwriting chops. Stop Forwarding that Crap To Me My only regret is that he didn’t work in a couple of FB and Twitter references, which are surely the new version of this phenomenon. Weird Al […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Too damn hot!
Unknown Photographer, 1940s, a photo by kraftgenie on Flickr. AFter their shift cleaning out the blast furnaces, Edna and Eustace would head down to the the Pantages Theatre, still wearing their protective gear. They took the oxygen with them, and then stole it from their audience. They had a burlesque show that everyone in town […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: A writer writes
april 26 grading blues, a photo by dewberry1964 on Flickr. Ignatius was working. That was the first rule for writers. It wasn’t about the tools, his teachers had said, way back in school. It was about discipline. Work. A writer must write, even if, as Thomas Mann said: “A writer is someone for whom writing […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Socially Dysfunctional
socially dysfunctional, a photo by lunchbreath on Flickr.
Love this infotoon, and is a useful addition to the came: “crazy person or bluetooth user?”
Alltop is the homeless lunatic of humor aggregators.
The Skwib: Worth the risk
Pathetic phallacy, a photo by Miss Aniela on Flickr.
Love the quote on the photo’s page (link above):
Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
–Timothy Leary
Alltop thinks they’ve spelled fallacy wrong.
The Skwib: Early Greek Irony Machine
I always wondered if the Oracle ENJOYED being an irony machine. Based on this, I’d say yes.
Alltop is a funny machine.
The Skwib: Career Day for Jim
School was lame. Adults were lame. Life, itself, was a series of lame events. None more so than Career Day. These were the thoughts of Jim as he walked into the gymnasium for the Beaverbrook High career day. At least he didn’t have to sit through the tedium and ennui of Mr. Leekie’s calculus class, […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: Fun, fun, fun
Nudity Probable from the irregulars on Vimeo.
Alltop always walks into a room butt-first.
The Skwib: Dog Threat Level Meter
Dog vocalizations interpreted. Condition Tail Wag Don’t be fooled by the cuteness of this puppy — it might mean trouble. I’ll growl at it just to let it know that I’m watching. Condition Woof Holy crap! A husky! My arch-nemesis, and about as close to a wolf as a dog gets. If it comes closer, […]
Continue readingThe Skwib: It’s about the eggs
–Woody Allen, Annie Hall (the final voiceover)
Alltop likes its scrambled.