OMG. The horror, the horror. Is that Hannibal or Harper? I was hoping that Great Ugly Leader's Tour of the North would be a total bust eh? But who knew things could go so horribly, wonderfully, wrong? Yesterday the critics were calling it a doggy circus. Today they're accusing him
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Montreal Simon: Stephen Harper and the Big Oil Tour
Oh. My. Doggy. I see Stephen Harper has begun his annual tour of the north with the first of many absurd photo-ops. But at least this time the tour isn't about guarding our Arctic sovereignty, or defending it from the Russians, or stopping the ice from melting. It's all about
Continue readingMontreal Simon: Dieppe and the Lost Myth
It was good to see that some of the soldiers who took part in the Dieppe Raid were able to make it back to that bloody beach today. And that so many people in the town turned out to greet them like heroes. I'm also glad that we may finally
Continue readingMontreal Simon: Stephen Harper and the Teabagger
Golly. Don't look now eh? But I hear that Stephen Harper has fallen hard for the new Republican heartthrob Paul Ryan. You have to believe that the duo of Stephen Harper and Jim Flaherty are salivating at the chance to work with a Mitt Romney/Paul Ryan White House. Ryan is
Continue readingMontreal Simon: Jimbo Flaherty and the Con Country Snatchers
Oh goody. Another episode of The Invasion of the Con Country Snatchers. And tonight it's one of the scariest ones ever !!!! For as Jim Flaherty prepares to meet with business leaders, we find out what kind of Canada they would like us to live in. Read more »
Continue readingMontreal Simon: The Cons and the Patronage Machine
Uh oh. I see the sign on the Con Farm barn has been changed. Ignorance is Strength is still there. But Patronage is Bad, the slogan that Great Napoleon Leader used against the Liberals, has been subtly revised. Now it reads Patronage is Porky, as in normal. Or yummy. Read more
Continue readingMontreal Simon: Vic Toews and my Manitoba Nightmare
Oh. My. Zombie. What a horrible nightmare. I'm pedaling furiously across Manitoba, desperately looking for a cheap motel. Because I've been warned not to be out on the road after dark. Especially when there's a full moon eh? And then suddenly I'm stopped by a cop and charged with SPEEDING
Continue readingMontreal Simon: Stephen Harper and the War Olympics
Well the Olympic Games are finally over, and I must say I enjoyed the show, from the stunning beginning to the wild and wonderful end. I thought the Brits did an amazing job, I was proud of all our athletes, whether they won a medal or not. And the only
Continue readingMontreal Simon: Pierre Poutine and the Heart of Darkness
He's still out there hiding in the shadows. His foul breath still hangs heavy in the air. But it seems the trail of the demon dialer Pierre Poutine has come to a dead end. Elections Canada investigators tracking “Pierre Poutine” hit a dead end when the Internet address behind misleading robocalls
Continue readingMontreal Simon: Great Furry Leader and the Nasty Pipeline
Good golly Miss Molly. Who needs Pussy Riot when we got Stephen Harper? And could this possibly be true? Could he really be a changed man, as his new/old image would suggest? Could he really have morphed into a Great Purry Furry Leader who now loves scientists, isn't going to
Continue readingMontreal Simon: When Assaulting the Homeless is Funny
I don't know whether this video of some loser apparently urinating on an unconscious homeless person is real. The video that lasts 27-seconds shows a young man approaching a man sleeping on the sidewalk outside what appears to be Toronto's Eaton Centre. With his back to the camera he appears to
Continue readingMontreal Simon: Stephen Harper: When the Bully is Beaten
Well there he was in a classroom in Vancouver, in yet another tightly controlled phony photo-op. Handing out E.I. benefits to the parents of sick kids, posing as Big Daddy, but still sounding like Big Brother. Prime Minister Stephen Harper is defending the independence of the environmental review process underway for
Continue readingMontreal Simon: The Bigot, the Blowtorch, and the Flaming Cheerios
It must have seemed like a great idea eh? To a bigot as dumb as this one. Show how much you hate General Mills for supporting gay marriage. "We do not believe the proposed constitutional amendment is in the best interests of our employees or our state economy," the company's vice
Continue readingMontreal Simon: Curiousity, Mars, and the Triumph of Humanity
I just can't help myself eh? I just had to insert the Cons, like an ugly alien probe, into this amazing story. The US space agency has just landed a huge new robot rover on Mars. The one-tonne vehicle, known as Curiosity, was reported to have landed in a deep
Continue readingMontreal Simon: The Cons and the Country We Could Have Been
It was the first day of my holidays, and I couldn't wait to go sailing eh? But when Seb and I got down to the lake it was so hot all I could do was just stand there. Then dive into the cool water to try to escape the suffocating
Continue readingMontreal Simon: Harperland and the Chicken Homophobes
It's hard to believe that this is still happening in Canada, even in a city as diverse as Toronto. It's hard to believe that some crackpots still think that religious rights should prevail over human rights. Juliet Stewart says her clients, a Seventh-day Adventist husband and wife, told her in
Continue readingMontreal Simon: The Never Ending Madness of Vic Toews
Uh oh. Call the zombie police. VicToews has stumbled out of his crypt and is going after Justin Trudeau. Again. Vic Toews launched yet another Twitter attack against Liberal MP Justin Trudeau today, accusing him of orchestrating the embarrassing Vikileaks Twitter account after it was revealed the account’s creator was
Continue readingMontreal Simon: The Gays and the Church of the Bigot Chicken
I don't really know what to say about this Made in Amerika story eh? Because it's got EVERYTHING. Bigots, gay marriage, Jesus, and a steaming heap of deep fried chicken. Hundreds of thousands of people across the country headed to Chick-fil-A restaurants on Wednesday, answering a call from Mike Huckabee,
Continue readingMontreal Simon: Big Daddy and the Quebec Election
Well there he was the old smoothie, on day one of the campaign, sitting in his comfy chair in his big blue bus. The one with the slogan For Quebec. Trying to explain in his Big Daddy knows best way, why he called a summer election. Because you know, he's
Continue readingMontreal Simon: Stephen Harper and the Parizeau Connection
OMG. This is scarier than the French Connection eh? I'm sure you know the famous story about how Jacques Parizeau decided to take a train trip from Montreal to Banff in 1969. And how he would later say: "When I left Montreal's Windsor Station, I was a federalist. When I
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